The Marlboro Man

Welcome everyone for another episode of my extraordinary lies,

It will never hold up in court, but, it sure makes my time fly.

Yes, I’m “The Marlboro Man”, my bullshit (as you all know) is where I’m coming from,

Live, as always, at www.LieSocial.Satanismymaster.com.

Jack in D.C., is always diligently on the ball,

And I hate it when my lawyers tell me, I’ve got another call.

Another charge to add to my already overwhelming cases,

Worldwide, I’m known as a former dictator wannabe, everyone’s seen my faces. (I have multiple, by the way)

Fani in Georgia, is forever, dead on my ass,

I’m like wow, don’t you ever run out of gas?

She’s like “hell no”, you’re just a no-good crook,

And I’m gonna get you with my “razor-sharp hook”.

You’ve already been found guilty, and it’s about doggone time,

All that’s left is tabulating, how much is the fine.

So, everyone look and behold “The Marlboro Man”,

Who lives in the bottom of a filthy, maggot-infested trashcan.

I will never, ever tell the truth,

And always will be involved in some type of cahoots,

With any dictator or despot on planet earth,

I’ve been this way ever since my birth.

And although I’m dressed extravagantly, actually I’m a skunk,

With excess flabs of flesh, I’m really nobody’s hunk.

The United States Supreme Court has decided not to fast-track my case,

Good, because I’ve got enough on them, that it’ll blow up in their face.

Clarence, tell your buddy Satan, I said hello,

His current employee (me) is a very lucky fellow.

Neil, you are one of my dearest friends,

The rules of justice, for me, you’ll always bend.

Brett, we all know you were guilty as hell, but let you in,

Had to pack the court, so I’d always win.

Amy, we all understand what you’re doing as you “scream and shout”,

Preaching, “praise the lord and hallelujah”, God doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

Yes, I have The United States Supreme Court “by the balls”,

Those that don’t have any, I’ll grab them by “the-you-know-what”, because, that’s my call.

So how did I really wind up in The White House?,

Well, I listened to this little, majestic noisy mouse.

The mouse said, Marlboro Man, come take a look,

And I discovered this magical, historical playbook.

Two stolen U.S. Presidential elections, back-to-back,

Now, that’s something I’d like to do, so I got on that track.

The guy who got in, of course, didn’t do it by himself,

His brother, the governor, was really a very big help.

Apparently, the U.S. Postal Service had a problem with some mailboxes, but mainly in one state,

It was never (wink, wink) figured out, and labeled as “an honest mistake”.

Too bad no one shook those bushes and trees closer, there’s no telling what would have fallen out,

You all know… exactly what I’m talking about.

The GOP will never, ever be the same,

And now, has a very different name.

They shiver every time they see my face,

When I walk in the room, they’ll run into my arms for a warm embrace.

Everyone knows, “I’ll air your dirty laundry to the world”,

So, they bend to my will and give a pirouette (a mighty good twirl).

You know, I’ll shove all your past deeds, misdeeds and shortcomings in your face,

And make damn sure, you’ll lose the next political race.

“I’m The Marlboro Man and that’s how I roll,”

Satan is my master and I have a bottomless pit for a soul.

When I finally go down, and I definitely will,

It’s okay, because I’m taking everyone with me and that’s my thrill.

I know I have a room in a place called Hell,

So what, I’m taking billions with me, and that’s certainly swell.

Those of you who think that I’m a fool, so what,

Look at them that blindly follow me, they’re in a pathetic rut.

I continually stir the pot of everyone’s meal,

And feed them, my bullshit, who they should know (it’s not real).

Whoever said it, was absolutely correct in his saying,

He told the truth and he’s not playing.

He said if democracy erodes, it will come from within,

I’m here, “The Marlboro Man”, I’m taking it down (and everyone who follows me) because I’m full of sin.

The entire planet knows, “I’M ALWAYS RIGHT AND NEVER WRONG”,

So keep playing that record, (I have it on repeat) and I live by that song.

Merry Christmas to all you fools,

I will use you up, ‘til there’s nothing left, because you’re my tools.

Your Father

God

These are the words of your wannabe leader, The Marlboro Man, interpreted by my son. Deep down inside, you all know the truth, even when it hurts. I hold the key to everyone’s salvation. Make certain, you as individuals go through the correct door. On judgement day, you’ll be standing alone. In front of me. If your name’s not in “The Book of Life”… (Too Bad) Don’t blame it on someone else. Heaven or Hell. Your choice.

“GOD IS REAL. HEAVEN IS REAL. HELL IS REAL”.

Either way, in the end, you’ll find out.

My son and I are coming for you all,

Wait and soon, your name will be called.

Take a very good look at the clock on the wall,

When the sand runs out…you will tumble down and fall.

TICK, TOCK