Fani And Jack (I’ve Got Your Back)

Back in 1990 there was a movie, “Cry Baby”, starring Johnny Depp,

He always looked good, even after staying up all nite, sometimes he never slept.

It’s 2024 and after over 3 years, you have a real live cry baby, who wants to steal his way (again) into The White House,

Because, once isn’t enough, especially still getting information from that mystical mouse.

That mouse is still, whispering in his ear,

And just to be clear,

He can steal his way in again, yes, it’ll only be done by theft,

Unless of course, those on the other side don’t take their gloves off. That’s you, on the left.

So “cry baby”, stop crying over spilled milk,

Have your nanny change your soiled diapers, which I know aren’t made of silk.

Be a damn good idea, for you to leave them peeps alone,

My dad (that’s God to the rest of you) is watching with Rose (that’s my daughter) up high, on His throne.

Fani and Jack are dead on your insurrectionist, treacherous and stanky ass,

And they never, ever run out of gas.

Anytime either of them gets low (on fuel),

They automatically take it slow,

Pull into the pit stop to get a refill,

But unlike you, don’t cry, if something gets spilled.

You need to grow up,

Your conduct makes me want to throw up.

My dad has finally cut me loose (about damn time),

Pretty soon, I’ll be out and about; gonna cook me a goose.

One at a time,

It’s going to be “just fine”.

It’ll happen one fateful day,

We’ll (you and I) come face-to-face, and we’re gonna play.

So, it’s best before that happens, “YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER”,

And don’t be giving me any problems, (from now until then) or believe me, it’s gonna be stormy weather.

It’s in your best interests to ease up off Fani and Jack,

I’m the one who’s going to, when the time is right, take up all of their slack.

Go ahead, make some calls,

One of the many names I have is yours, I got it from my dad; He plucked it off His wall.

Prepare for your name to be called,

You are about to fall.

Those of you who are protecting “Marlboro Man” better think again,

Because, “I’ll mow rite over you, to get to him”, you’re all full of sin.

The price for anyone (on planet earth) who stands in my way, it’s a heavy price,

You will pay, and pay dearly, “it will be with your life”.

So Maga World, Proud Boys, KKK, and all you other misfits,

Keep on smoking what you’re smoking that makes you crazy, go ahead, “take another hit”.

Marlboro Man going down, with or without you, to me it doesn’t matter,

While you all are getting ready to pick up arms again, don’t bother, we’ve been listening to all the chatter.

Everywhere you go,

We already know.

I’m not concerned about any contract hit,

I’ve got my own private organization, and every one of us are quick.

So when the time comes and you want to throw down,

I’m in plain sight and can be easily found.

Marlboro Man forever leaking peeps addresses to the internet,

I know where you all are too, and that you can bet.

So unless you’re invisible you most definitely can be found,

Don’t play with me, or you’ll be discovered with a single round.

We all have to go sometime. So weird ones, pick your time,

Because anyone who toes down with me, I know done lost their damn mind.

I’ll be asked, what happened to that fool,

The answer will be, they’re in school.

I had to set them free,

They’re home with their master, “Satan“, for all of eternity.

Like I said, I’ve got Fani’s and Jack’s back to the very end,

The question is, are you willing to die, for someone who’s no one’s friend?

If that’s the way you want to go,

Just so, you all know,

To me, it’s only another day,

Bring it on, I’m out and ready to play.

When we finally meet, “face-to-face”, don’t make any sudden moves,

For certain, you will definitely lose.

Shortly, I’ll be welcoming everyone officially to, “The Mini-Me Show”,

I’ll take my time and do it real slow.

I age gracefully, like fine wine,

I get exquisitely better, with more time.

There’s a new Sheriff in town (that’s planet earth),

And he’ll be traveling all around.

Before I go, I have one last thing for “Marlboro Man” to hear,

Listen closely, open up both your ears…

Yippie-Ki-Yay Motherfucker!

What? Okay, whatever!

That was my dad, telling me I need to calm down,

Or I’m the one gonna be picking myself up off the ground.

News flash…If it wasn’t for Big Head Kahuna, (that’s another name I have for my dad),

I wouldn’t be writing any of this. He says, I’m the best He’s ever had.

He says, I always put on a good show,

And now, He wants the world to know.

Be getting me up in the middle of the night to type all this shit,

Talking about, if you’re tired, you’ve got an espresso machine, go take another hit.

I’m like dad, you “Sha-zammed” this entire universe in a millisecond, with these words, just do an instant replay,

And the shit is “God Perfect”. He says, maybe next time, because I still owe Him, so His game I have to continually play.

Getting into heaven aint free and with my dad, with Him, “We All Have To Pay”,

Today, tomorrow or maybe sometime later. You will definitely pay, my dad doesn't play.

Just so you all know,

My hand I’m gonna show…

I’m not playing with what you might call, “a full deck”,

Go take a look or maybe you’ve already checked.

Gotta go,

Prepare to be enlightened by “The Mini-Me Show”.

Alvin Mann