Blog Post Eleven

For whom the bell tolls, is how it all began. As I sit here contemplating my next move, an internal war rages within me. But, alas, I have no fear for thou art with me. You calm all my fears and inhibitions. You are the one who truly loves me.

Revelations

Dad, what's going on?

Hey, baby…

Dad, what's going on?

He told you huh?

Can I enlighten you for a minute dad?

You got 58.4 seconds left.

Father says, you better quit playing games. Your former employer up to no good, as usual, and for you to walk a straight line, from here onward. Are we clear on that, dear dad?

Crystal.

So, I’m assuming you're going to fly straight from now on?

Well…

Dad, that's the wrong response. The only correct response is “YES”.

So dad told you to capatilze yes and surround it with quotation marks, didn't He?

What do you think?

First, I know He told you that. Second, it's probably a good idea for you to recognize that I'm still your earthly father, regardless what “The Big Kahuna” told you, so it's probably best you chill with that Billy-Badass talk. Capisce?

Capisce Daddy-O!

O-Kee-Dokey. So what's going on?

Father says, you need to get your ass in gear!

Bullshit, dad don't talk like that and definitely not to me. I keep Him laughing all the time, and this is way before you were a itch in my…

Dad, let's not go there.

So what He really say?

Exactly, what I told you. And I'm not gonna say it again. Don't believe me, ask Him.

So, what's up with Him? He wake up on the wrong side of the clouds? All them soft, fluffy, pillowy angels He be sleeping on. What got Him all riled up?

Look in the mirror.

You can't be…

Dad, don't go there. Everyone up here know what's on your mind, heart and soul. And it's not about our Father. Tell me I'm wrong.

You're…

Dad, stop! Father told me you were going to say that, but I already knew I was going to stop you before you finished. Guess why?

Dad at His limit?

With you. 'The Outer Limit”. With you, He said, “no mas”. Comprende?

No sabe!

Dad?

No Engles!

Dad?

Que?

Father says, stop playing with Satan.

I'm not…

Dad, Father says He gonna get you, but good if you don't act right and fly straight. Capisce?

Yeah, alright. But you know…

Yes dad, I know. Satan tempts everyone, but, you're the only one that got away. I mean dad, you were number one, worldwide.

Yeah, I was!

So dad, you miss it?

No!

Dad, why'd you say that?

Because it's true. I don't miss it. Well, maybe a teeny-tiny bit.

Okay, that's better. Because Father said, if you would've said anything different, He was going to hook you up. Guess how?

Sleeping with the fishes?

Bingo!

What else He say?

Act right and fly straight, and you can do anything you want. However, you must, “Always, Act Right And Fly Straight”.

Here we go again with these capitalized words with quotation marks.

If you notice, they're not all cap. Let's you know Father cutting you some slack. Don't push your luck.

You know, you alright Rose.

Yes dad, I know. Stay away from that fool.

C'mon, you all know, he's everywhere. He's spirit, just like you and Miracle Man. By the way…

Stop dad…

But…

Dad, stop!

Damn, what crawled up yo ass tonite?

Dad, why do you say things like that?

The honest truth?

Yes, please!

Well…

C'mon dad, I'm a big girl, I can take it.

Well, I've always been told, the truth shall set you free.

Dad?

Yes, Rose?

We both know, you're taking them words out of context.

What's your point?

You really miss me, don't you?

Yes, but I'm glad “The Grand Poobah” sent you to visit me. I love bullshiting.

Yes dad, I know. Father sent me to keep you out of trouble.

No shit?

Ask Him!

I'll pass, He's a real sourpuss at times. I'm glad I get to hang out with you for a while, 'cause He always be tripping. Too many rules and regulations for me.

Dad?

Yes, Rose?

The rules apply to everyone.

I know Rose, but when we talk, you don't always throw it in my face. That dude, all the time, Alvin do this, Alvin don't do that. I mean, who He think He is?

Dad?

Yes, Rose?

Why you tripping?

Because…

I'm all ears dad. Talk to me.

I'm tripping beacuse, that's what I do. And dad sent you, because He knows I don't like tripping alone. He also knows that, you are gonna have to pack some luggage and a lot of it.

Why dad?

Because Rose…

I'm listening.

I'm gonna take you on one helluva trip. And we both gonna have big fun.

Ahhhhhhh! Dad, mom always told me you was a cool dude and always full of, well you know what of.

It's true.

Yes dad, I know, but I'm glad Father sent me to hang out with a big dawg before you come home.

Me too.

So dad!

Talk to me.

Will you please stop listening to that fool.

Okay, for you, anything.

Thanks dad. Father said He don't believe you, but as long as you don't give in, you're okay. Listening is one thing. Doing is another. Got it?

Got it.

So what's up for tonight, dad?

Well Rose, after bullshiting with you all this time, I think I'm gonna lie down for awhile. Get up in a few hours and do about 4 - 6 paintings.

Really?

Well, that's the plan Kiddo!

Cool. Father said, He gonna send you some Benjamins!

But, He didn't say when, did He?

No, but…

But my ass, He always playing games with me. Yes, He's gonna send it, but doesn't say when.

Dad…

Listen up, I'm gonna tell you what He did 4 years ago.

Okay dad, I'm listening.

I had a storage unit with a lot of merchandise in it and I asked Him to hook me up. You still there?

Yes dad, I'm here. Father's here also. He said He wants to hear what you have to say.

Good, let Him deny it. Now, I only needed a few bucks, maybe $120. After I lost my storage unit and all my worldly possessions, He come up with $1,000 for me 3 weeks after my stuff was sold at auction. Now guess what He told me at the time?

I may not come when you really need me, but I eventually show up! Sound about right dad?

I may not come when you really need me, but I eventually show up! Is exactly rite. Now what kind of shit is that? All my prayers were for what? And all my good deeds and my works?

Dad!

What?

Father said, at the time, did you have a roof over your head?

Yes. What's His point?

Wait dad, there's more.

Yeah, bet there's a lot more. But go ahead.

Father said, at the time, did you have clothes on your back and also a wardrobe?

Yes. And?

Father wants to lastly know, didn't you have food for your stomach? It may not have been a lot, but you didn't starve did you?

What's His point?

Father wants to know, what's your point?

(Silence!)

Dad?

I'm here.

Yes, I know you are, so why you so quiet? Cat got your tongue? That came from Father.

Yes Rose, I know where it came from.

He wants to know why you so quiet?

Rose, I needs to keep my cool, because I know that dude. If I snap, He gonna do something terrible and I just figure I best “bite the bullet” this time.

Father says, you better keep a supply of bullets and not for shooting. Guess what they gonna be used for?

Both of you can keep your day jobs, because you aint fun-E.

Father says, on a count of three.

Everyone?

Yes, everyone.

One…

two…

three…

Ha, ha!

Dad, how you like that?

You know dad, a real comedian, you know!

Yeah! Everybody in heaven was in on this one.

Yeah, I heard. My ears are still ringing.

You know why Father did that, don't you?

Yeah, He wants to let me know, He's laughing with me, and not at me.

So, what do you think?

I think dad needs to start finding some new material.

He said the same about you!

Nite Rose. And tell David Letterman, I'm gonna take over His show next season.

He said, “IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN!”

All high caps.

You know what that means, don't you dad?

Yep, I better find me a good shooter, because I'm gonna open up next season and David Letterman gonna be somewhere else.

Father says, you need to stop inhaling that paint you be working with or at least use the mask you just bought.

Nite Rose.

Night dad.

Back to our regularly scheduled program

So what's the moral of this story? Well, if you talk to our Father in heaven and confide in Him truthfully you just may receive everything you seek. Then again, maybe not. The Lord giveth and He taketh away. We are here on earth for one purpose only and that is to glorify His name. Watch! My Father is awesome. He gonna pave a way for me and part the entire planet and pave a path for me to follow.

This will be a multi-year mission! Going forth across the planet, to places known and unknown.

Why am I going?

My Father says someone has to do it.

Okay, whatever!

When will I go?

Who knows, but when it's time, He'll inform me.

Kirk out! (and that's all he wrote)