Mission Control to Major Tom
Mission Control to Major Tom,
Hopefully, you're not in any harm.
Give me a shout if you get in trouble,
In a flash and on the double.
I'll be there to help you out,
Wait a minute… you figure it out.
You always want to be number one,
Call me when the mission is done.
Make sure it's 100% complete,
If you want to keep standing on your feet.
Alvin Mann, tell everyone, this is not a joke.
Gotta go, time for a smoke.
The Big Kahuna
Your Father
God
Riddle Time: I died for your sins, who am I?
Answer at the bottom of this post. Be patient, read the entire post. My son has a story to tell.
Revelations
Dad!
Be quiet, I'm thinking.
(Silence)
Okay, talk to me, what He really talking about?
He said, what He meant. However, I know for a fact, as long as you stick to the J-O-B, you gonna be okay.
Cool. And what's up with that going for a smoke shit? Dad had a double lung transplant 7-1/2 years ago. I think He trying to let me know, pretty soon His clock gonna stop and He preparing me to fill them big ass shoes. Cool. I got my own hats, His too big for my small head anyways. So what He tell you to tell me?
Father just wants you to have a good time.
Okay, what He really up to? I smell something, and it aint me.
Father says, as long as you don't step too far outside of the circle, you good. He already knows, you going to step outside, just don’t get lost.
Bullshit! He really means don't go back to my former employer.
Well dad, you do know Him better than me.
Yes, I do. Dad the best Intelligence Agent to ever exist. I personally don't ever have to hire a private investigator, get information from the F.B.I., C.I.A., N.S.A. and all those other alphabet soup law enforcement agencies. Dad is The Ultimate Intel. Problem is, if it's not directly tied to His own special ops, He don't share. He keep it to Himself. I asked Him, why don't you share with me? Guess what He said?
He said, because He know better.
Yep, so what you think of that shit?
(Silence)
Tell you what daughter of mine, I got a special form of deprogramming for yo ass soon as I get home. Remember “Love Hurts”.
Dad, why you always tripping.
One, I'm a trip and two, Dad always holding out on me, about everything, except for his Head Games.
Father said, you full of shit, so you better be cool, before He flush you down the toilet.
I'm sorry Dad, I didn't mean it. I got a troubled soul, just like you said. Satan made me do it. I'm not playing with a full deck, I think I may need a psychiatrist, can you recommend one please?
Father says, He don't believe anything you just said and not one part is true, but you get an A+ in drama.
About damn time. He always telling me I don't put enough feeling into the scene.
Dad, you were great.
No shit Sherlock, a regular Laurence Olivier. Academy Awards, here I come.
Dad!
What?
You know Father said, to stay away from the Academy Awards, He don't want your head, to get any bigger.
Bullshit! He can't go and get an award, so He doesn't want me to get one.
Dad, why you trip so much?
Rose, I can only be what I am. And I am my Father's son. Yaba-Daba-Doo!
So, I'm about to leave dad, I'll see you tomorrow.
Nite Rose.
Night dad.
Back to our regularly scheduled program
Yes, my son is coming along very nice and I do enjoy his performances, however, he needs to keep it up regularly. Daily! Yes, my other children, just like you.
So, you better get on the ball,
Before I call.
If you can't resist,
You will surely miss,
What heaven has to offer,
Other than what's in the other coffer.
Stop being a sinner,
And if you want to be a winner,
Follow Jesus Christ with all your might,
Make sure he's in your sight.
Come “All My Children”, come home.
But here, only the faithful belong.
See you at the finish line!
Your Father
God
Answer to the riddle: Jesus Christ. Apparently you don't know him, so of course, he doesn't know you. You'll go to Satan's Palace. He has your reservation and all accommodations are on the house.