Control, We Have Liftoff

Yes, finally my son, Alvin Mann is on his way to his assignment. If he succeeds or fails is irrelevant. Don't believe me? Ask Him, he's been working for me a very long time. Ask him how long he's been working for me. He did, once upon a time, turn his back on me. Bet he won't do that again. Yes, he's learned his lesson quite well, however, I must never let him forget about it. Those of you who claim to know God (that's me) and that thing of forgiveness concerning turning the other cheek: well, I'm God. If I tell you one (uno) 1 time and you don't obey me, I can punish you or forgive you at my discretion. There's only one God (once again, that's me) and less than 30 days, the entire planet, that's you Earth, are going to feel the force of my power. Stay tuned, there's more to come.

Riddle Time: I'm all powerful, but you can't see, touch or taste me. And I'm always there. Who am I?

Answer at the bottom of this post. Be patient, read the entire post. My son has a story to tell.

Your Father

God

Revelations

Dad!

Lil Grasshopper, what Big Head Kahuna up to, besides setting me up?

He said, you're too good to fall for these traps and you've been trained by the best, Father, so you should come out smelling like a Rose.

I know damn well, both of you got your hands all in this shit.

What's your point, dad?

The hell with it, tell me something good.

I'm having twins, a girl and a boy.

See when you start talking like this, let's me know something up.

Dad.

What?

Why you always tripping and think everyone is up to something, when in actuality, it's just you?

Bullshit! I know you and Dad up to something, and you don't have to tell me. I don't care, but I know, what I know.

Oh really?

Damn straight rookie!

Father was right about you.

Regardless what you say, Big Head Kahuna right about everything, since He's God.

You really want His job, don't you?

Do bees buzz? Do cows moo? Do dogs bark? Do chickens cluck?

So, I take that as a yes?

Dad always playing games and wonder why I get tired. Because I wanna be God sometimes, but He says, no hombre that's not how dissa game works, but maybe next time.

Dad, you know that's never going to happen, so it's just wishful thinking.

I don't know, maybe one day Dad will transfer some of them super powers to me, for walking a straight line consistently and keeping a cool head.

Father says, the only reason you walking a straight line is, because, you can't get away from us.

What's His point?

That given the chance, you would change everything.

Of course, for the better.

Father says, you need to calm down.

Tell Him to “Sha-Zam” me into calmness, serenity and peacefulness so I spread joy, praises of Jesus and love to the masses.

Father wants to know what are you going to do for an encore?

Something original for sure, and better than takeout Cannoli at Luigi’s.

So dad, you good?

Yes, Lil Grasshopper. I'm gonna be cool as a cucumber.

Dad, I'm sure you're going to be okay. Not so sure you going to be cool as a cucumber.

And, why is that, Miss Soon-to-be-visiting-I.C.U?

Dad, you're not exactly the poster boy for coolness.

I am and always will be Mr. Cool. Shit, open up any dictionary, encyclopedia or thesaurus and my face gonna be next to the definition.

You sure about that dad?

Damn straight I am. So you the one, best be cool. Find yoself looking up at the ceiling of the church. You will be in a deep sleep if you catch my drift.

10-4 good buddy. Night Mr. Cool

Roger Wilco. Nite. Make sho to keep one eye open.

Back to our regularly scheduled program

Yes, my son is alright, but he's not me quite yet. He is quite adept at “The Art of War”. Best on the planet. I should know, I taught him, and I'm not even human. So Earth you better be ready when I come. Be in outer space when I come, I'll send you home in a body bag. I'm not in the mood. Change your wicked, devilish ways or else. Ask Mini-Me: you can't hide, escape or avoid my wrath when it’s payday. You're the check and I'm the cashier. When I cash you in, quite a few of you going to be left penniless. That's what happens when you don't want to pay your bills and want everything free. No freebies getting into heaven.

My son, Alvin Mann's daughter, Rose up here. She's my Personal Heaven Stenographer and Mr. Chuckles my Personal Earth Stenographer. Mini-Me got a few more things to do for me before he comes home, so you better leave him alone. Unless of course you don't like breathing. Don't play with me, I'm not in the mood. You better stop all these wars.

I am the Ultimate Military Commander. I am Swift, Silent and Deadly, so's my number one student. You'll find out soon enough. He's got the highest worldwide body count, known to mankind. Give you a small hint: it's well over nine figures (that's numerical figures) so top that you special forces snipers. You better leave him alone. If I don't get you, and by the way, God can get anyone, my son will. He a damn good shot. You'll find out soon enough.

Your Father

God

Answer to the riddle: God. But I don't know most of you, which is why you won't be getting into heaven. Satan has your reservation. To all of you non-believers and gym shoe creepers, just wait and see. Talking about, this earthly life is all there is, after this, that's it.

When you wake up in Hell and Satan is the first one you see, it'll be too late, but that's where you'll be spending eternity.

Home, Sweet Home!