Question: To Be, Or Not To Be

I've been wondering. Hmmmm! How have my words resonated with you, the human race? You claim to want to go to heaven, but I don't know most of you, so you won't get in. Hell, is available and they'll take anyone. Rich people, royalty and you politicians, Satan has a special place for you. Reservations are frowned upon, just show up, Satan's expecting you. I'm wondering and pondering should I give you more time, what… okay. My Stenographer here in heaven, Rose, that's Alvin Mann's daughter, says no Father, they don't love you, they don't even know who you are. They think when they die, that's it.

Everyone in heaven knows it’s real, which is why, they're here. It really is unfortunate that all of these mansions are going to go to waste, but really, they won't. 30 days (Please read WWIII (The Aftermath) Here I Come, concerning your rapidly, depleting time left) go by so quickly, so you better get your house in order, I'm coming for all of you. The entire planet.

Riddle Time: God is real, how do you prove it?

Answer at the bottom of this post. Be patient, read the entire post. My son has a story to tell.

Your Father

God

Revelations

Dad, how you doing tonight?

So far, so good. The Boogie Man decided to give me a slight break. I got a couple hours of Father-Son discussion. He trying to figure where my head is at and if I’m gonna go by His rules and regulations.

What’s the conclusion?

I told Him, to ease up off me unless He wanted to do a little “hand to hand combat”, with His old ass. I said, bring yo ass down here, show me what you got. Why you laughing?

Dad, you know damn well, you didn’t tell Father that.

Well, I’m telling you now and He is everywhere, so He hears it. It’s my way of letting Him know without actually telling Him. I’m taking a chance doing it this way, but it’s a lot safer. The O.G. in killer mode, but I figure I can get away with it, doing it this way. Let everyone know, I know better and I’m living proof that “Love Hurts”. I’m trying to maintain this 62yr old body as best I can, and if I lose control with Dad, He gonna snap. I’m trying real hard to stay out of His line of fire. To all of you cyberspace peeps, my Dad is a surgeon. He has conducted “surgical strikes” and can shoot up the ass of an ant from 10,000 miles away with pinpoint accuracy and the Best Military Commander that ever existed.

He’s unbeatable!

So Father turned you around, didn’t He?

Actually, He didn’t. I just know better. I figure I best “bite the bullet” ‘cause the way He is rite now, a thought can kill you, so I’ve been practicing my yoga skills, cause Dad in killer mode for real. And He’s not taking any prisoners, and I’m not ready to come home yet.

Father got some missions lined up for you. He tell you about them?

He just told me to be ready and when it’s time, He’ll drop it on me. But of course, that’s the usual way with Dad. Straight out the blue.

So I see you named Father’s Blog, “The Big Kahuna”. Cool.

Glad you like it, but that was His idea. I think He trying to tell me something.

Like what?

Like when someone comes to the site, sees The Big Kahuna, click on it and see it’s talking about God. “The Big Kahuna.” “The Big Guy.” “The Big Shot”. Dad, as usual, on an ego trip!

Oh, but still, it’s nice.

It is, but Dad done took over my site and got me up all day and nite typing this shit. I can’t get no sleep ‘cause He always on my ass, talking about, “read that back to me”. I mean damn, you got all them super powers and you just can’t “Sha-Zam” and the shit is God perfect. But no, He gotta let me know, who’s in charge. He’s not mad because I went to work for Satan, well He is. But He mad because I left as His number one going over to be Satan’s number one. I didn’t leave Diablo, Dad set me up and they did some terrible things to me. Dad just said, “did they make you scream”. Yes, Dad, just the way you planned it.

So what you got planned for tonight?

You need to ask Ernest Hemingway, because it seems I’m the only person on this planet He wants to harass on a 24hr basis. I mean damn, I know their has to be another problem child that needs more attention and counseling than me.

He said, He knows if we don’t stay on you, when the time comes, you going to forget where you came from.

Bullshit! I was locked up for 9 months inside my mom, being harassed by The Boogie Man the whole time, was born, and since birth, He still on my ass.

What that tell you?

Dad definitely is going to make sure I don’t get away.

Yes, He told me you have potential.

Okay, I’ll accept that. But Dad been on my ass like, I’ve committed a crime or something.

You heard that didn’t you?

Yes, I need to get rid of my filthy mind, corrupt heart and troubled soul.

We’re going to get you through this.

Appreciate that Dad and Rose.

You included Father in this, I’m impressed.

Don’t be, Dad up to something, but of course you already know that. Be getting me up in the middle of the night, to type all this shit, talking about some damn deadline. All He had to do was let me borrow them super powers for a couple of seconds and I could’ve “Sha-Zammed” enough from today to the end of this century. But no, He always telling me I need the practice. Bullshit! He just like being on my ass, talking about, “pick up the pace soldier.” When He say shit like that, it’s His way to let me know, “well hombre eyes a gotta mission fer ya”. Dad, loves playing games.

How you feel dad?

I’m good, no probs. Gotta go, Nite Rose.

Night dad, sleep tight.

Back to our regularly scheduled program

My son has come to realize the true power of His Father. He’s always known, I just had to take him down a notch or two. It’ll grow back. I know my son, he doesn’t stay down long and I’m God, the one who put him down. He does put on a good show and as long as he does what I tell him, when I tell him and how I tell him, he gets to stay out of I.C.U. You heard me planet earth, I love everyone the same. Mr. Chuckles is very entertaining, but he’s aware now is not the time to play games with The Grand Poobah. The rest of you gym shoe creepers another story. What do I have in mind? Here’s a hint. I’ve come to the conclusion, there's way too many people on the planet. Now go out and play, with the limited amount of time you have left.

Your Father

God

Answer to the riddle: Pray